Usher - Raymond vs. Raymond (Review)

Usher is going through a quarter life crisis on some level. While listening to this solid effort, you're unsure if he wants to be the smooth lothario of 'Confessions' fame or the monogamous man we found on 'Here I Stand'. Either way, this cd goes hard.

The album opens with Ush sliding back into his familiar role as the player. " Monstar" and "Daddy's Home" deal with the usual, shorty-you-should-be-excited-I-want-to-smash subject matter. But what else is new. Then we have "There Goes My Baby". This is a ballad that still has the thumping bass of an up-tempo track. On it, he sings about being proud to show the world his girl. See, he does have a soft side. But those moments are few and far between.

The best songs come from the playboy side of the disc. " Lil Freak" flips a Stevie Wonder sample and turns it into a smoldering sex song, where Nicki Minaj damn near steals the song. "Pro Lover" let's the ladies know that loving him is a no no because he knows how to put it down and he wants to spread the love. Somebody shouldve told his ex-wife. That was a low blow. I apologize.

Anyway, this is a great cd. Its no Confessions, but its almost there. Usually, almost doesn't count. In this case, it does. Cop that disc.

Pet Peeves (Work)

I'm writing this as I hide in the bathroom of my job. Hide isn't the best word, but its the only one that really suits the emotion behind the action. I just needed a breather. My nerves are shot and patience is wearing thin. So I decided I would release all of that here. These are some of the things that piss me off when dealing with customers.

"What's the difference?"
Now that may seem like an innocent question because it is. It becomes annoying when its asked after I ask them if they would like a single or a double cheeseburger. Uhh hello, this is not rocket science. How did you pass pre-school if you don't know the difference between one or two. But that's not the best one.

People ask me what's the difference when I ask if they want raw onions or cooked onions. The difference is in the adjectives. Cooked or raw, you dipshits. They say reading is fundamental. I say listening is the key to common sense.

Sliding your money to me, instead of handing it to me.
This has angered me since working at a grocery store in high school. Unless you have a baby in your arms, hand me your damn money. That makes me feel like you think I have some disease you're not trying to catch. Now, I know in foreign countries its disrespectful to hand money to a cashier. So foreigners get a pass. But Americans, you need to step your level of respect up. I'll put it like this, you want me to place your change in your hands, right? Well, turnabout is fair play.

"Do you sell pizza?"
The name on the door is Five Guys: Burgers and Fries. You have to pass two doors with the name on it. So that means you have received the answer to that question twice before you get to me and ask that stupid stuff. There are signs all over that say all beef and things of that nature. So pay attention, please.

Alright, I need to go back to work. I'm signing off until next time.

Congratulations, Ricky Martin

In 2000, Ricky Martin was featured on the Barbara Walters' Most Fascinating People list. In that interview, she asked a simple question that had a simple answer. She asked Ricky Martin if he was gay. He evaded the question so well, you could see Barbara Walters beginning to feel horrible about her inquiry. Well, today, ten years later, Martin has finally come out of the closet.

Let's be honest, how many of us are shocked or surprised. None. We all had some sort of hunch as to his preference. He always had the sexiest girls in his videos and never really interacted with them. A few years back, photos of him and an unknown man surfaced. They were on a beach doing yoga together wearing speedos. That doesn't sound suspect to you? And the most obvious hint is the fact he has twin sons, but never even mentions their mother. Somebody let me know why I should be surprised.

I am glad for him. I have friends that have had to do the same thing. Not on a global scale, but coming out is still hard. It is my hope people start to realize that everyone's personal truth is different from the next person's. We may not agree with their truth, but we should respect it because it isn't our life. Its theirs. So congratulations, Ricky Martin for excepting your own personal truth. Now you can live freely and peacefully.

And to my homophobic readers, shut your damn mouths. Like I said, its cool if you don't agree with a gay person's lifestyle, but its not your life. In all actuality, I think homophobes are just narcissistic. Gay people respect the fact that you're straight. And if you were gay, you probably wouldn't be their type. Live and let live people. Like the Jay-Z shirt, in the 'Run This Town' video says, " Do what thou wilt."

Fuck, Man! I Gotta Wear Skinny Jeans!

If you know me, you know that I am so anti-skinny jeans. Well tonight, at work, I wrote a check my ass certainly wasn't trying to cash.

This guy I work with lives to rock his skinnys. He pulls it off because he's a skinny guy. But being that I'm not, I make fun of him a great deal. For example, he had them on todayan I told him that his pants were so tight that if he put his hand in his pocket, I could count the creases on his knuckles. That got me laughs and in the situation I'm in now. Skinny Lover bet another skinny guy, who agrees with me, that SL would win in a race. The Not Skinny Lover(NSL) agreed. The stipulation was if SK won, all of the NSLs had to rock skinnys. If the NSL won, the SL had to wear the baggiest pants we could find. They shook on it and we set it up for after work.

Throughout the rest of the night, we all talked shit about it. Me telling SL that I hoped he liked swimming in his pants. SL telling me he couldn't wait to see me in my skinnys. The time came and our boss pulled out the camera to record the race and reactions. I yell go and the guys take off running. Oh by the way, the had to run from the bottom of the parking lot to the top, where I was. Well, NSL has the early lead and I'm souped. Then, out of nowhere, SL pulls ahead and smokes NSL. So I'm screaming my head off, laughing, yet mad as hell. My reaction is on tape. So I can't lie my way out of it. So next Saturaday, I will have to wear skinny jeans from 12 to 9. Fuck, man!

Monica - Still Standing (Review)

Go big or go home had to be the mission statement for the making of the fifth effort from the R&B songstress. 'Still Standing' is a big album in every sense of the word. The drums knock extremely hard for an album that is mostly mid-tempo to ballads.

While the instrumentation is big, Monica shows us why she she's lasted fifteen ywars in the game. Her voice is robust and powerful. Once she opens her mouth, there is little doubt about her falling off. She sounds like she did on her debut, 'Miss Thang', only wiser. Upon the first listen, it's easy to figure out she's gone through some things. Monica sings about the highs and lows of love, including watching her boyfriend commit suicide in front of her and how she's come through it.

The writing is a vast improvement from her last outing, 'The Makings Of Me'. There no gimmicks on this one. Missy Elliott, Jazmine Sullivan, Neyo, Monica, and a host of others create songs tailor made for her style. Soul baring and emotional are perfect words to describe this collection.

The only problem is that every track is perfect for Monica. There is no risk. We expect Monica to sing her ass off. Now we're just waiting for her to show us something she hasn't shown us before. But this is a classic Monica record. And who doesn't love classic Monica.

Have You Learned Nothing?

For the past few days, people have been asking me about my thoughts about the Jesse James/Sandra Bullock cheating fiasco. It took me a while to sort out my feelings about this because I wanted to feel sorry for the recent Oscar winner. On the other hand, I kind of wanted to smack some sense into her and America.

First, let's deconstruct who we're talking about here. Jesse James is a tattooed, motorcycle enthusiast who has a pornstar for an ex-wife. I don't know about you, but I wonder why people thought he wasn't capable of cheating. He was married to a pornstar for crying out loud. To be married to a pornstar you have to be one of two types of people. Either a nymph who enjoys watching or a crackhead. He is probably the former of the two. I say he is the former because he had two kids with this pornstar. Plus, you can't go from a pornstar to a goody two shoes like Sandra Bullock and not cheat.
What did we expect?

I feel sorry for Sandra Bullock because all of this came out right after her Oscar win. She worked her whole life for that gold statue and once she gets it, her world crashes around her. So much for riding the wave of success. This is like her getting so much buzz for her role in 'Speed' and then, appearing in the bomb known as, 'Hope Floats'. Not a good look.

But as for America, why are we surprised another man has cheated on his wife. Even though it's wrong, most men do it. Hell, most women do too. It's time we stop with this shock and awe routine when we find out celebrities are going through the same thing we go through. After all, they were normal before becoming famous, right? Normal people do stupid shit without reason. So ease up on dude or go this hard on regular people that cheat. Deal?

And a final word on this, how happy is Tiger Woods' cheating ass now that the heat is taken off of him now?

Dont Lie

Women love to get with other women and bash the opposite sex. A great deal of them love to say how we're dogs and are good for nothing. Admittedly, there are men like that. But how come those complaining women never take a look at themselves and think about the unspoken lies they tell us?

Weaves are a huge lie. Females walk around with that Wet and Way number 1 like that's really their hair. Then they try to use that ' I paid for it,so its mine' excuse. If I pay for a hooker, she's mine, but I'd be lying if I tried to pass her off as my girlfriend. Weave is a bald chick's hooker. Only difference is they can't go to jail for trying to buy it.

Some girls use push up bras and booty pads. As a man that admires the female form, this hurts. If we're in the club and she's backing it up on me, I'm thinking that I'm really feeling her booty. Then when we get it on and popping, she slide out of that thing, nothing is there. She went from looking like two hams stuffed in the back of her pants to flat back with a crack. Not cool, ladies. Not cool. As for the push up bra situation, don't get me started. A cups wind up looking like big Bs and then once that comes off, I'm left wondering if you sewated your chest off while we were dancing at the club. Definitely not cool.

Don't get me wrong, ladies, do what you must to make yourself feel beautiful. But don't try to call men out for the shady things we do when you are fooling us into believing you have something you don't. Basically, if you don't want us to play with your hearts, don't play with our eyes! Bang back!

America's Next Top Video Chick

As a man, I am so ashamed to be write the next sentence, but it is what it is. I still watch America's Next Top Model. Yes, I know how that makes me look. I don't give a damn. This reality show used to be where it was at to see sexy women, but over the fourteen seasons, it has steadily lost its luster.

Think about it. How many of those girls have become household names? Don't count season three winner, Eva Pigford because she changed her name to become an actress. Toccara, also from season three, is a host for BET. Their both Z-list celebrities, but only outside of modeling. I have yet to see a winner do anything outside of their initial prize from the show.

There are a few places these contestants show up after Top Model. You can see them on Project Runway during the final fashion show or in music videos. Saleisha was a winner from one of the later cycles and her biggest claim to fame is being an extra in the Robin Thicke 'Sex Therapy' flick. See, nothing major. Bianca, who competed with Saleisha, is more famous for a fight she had in an airport with the chick from Hairspray.

Don't you think it's time for Tyra to change the name to the title of this post because that is all these girls ever amount to. I'm not throwing shade. I'm just asking because there's no way I can get the countless hours I've wasted back. So can I, at least, get some compensation because watching these avwrage ass girls is a job I don't want to have. I've made up my mind that I'm going to change the channel. Click!

5 MCs Coming For The Throne In 2010

Rap music has become very redundant and has been heading into cornball territory for sometime now. But underneath the surface there are MCs bringing back, what rap purists call, real rap. These are the five rappers I'm looking at to make a serious dent in the industry this year.

J. Cole
After dropping two of the hottest mixtapes of '09, Jermaine Cole landed a coveted 16 bars on Hov's Blueprint 3. He is well on his way to becoming a star. In my opinion, his verse on "A Star Is Born" bodies Jay. This North Carolina native is working on his Columbia Records debut, which is due out late spring. Most people don't know he will be adding some production credits to his resume, once the album drops. But if you can't wait for the album, check out the aforementioned mixtapes, The Come Up and The Warm Up.

Wiz Khalifa
Wiz is a 22 year old Pittsburgh man with charisma for days. Already having released the mixtape, Flight School, and the independent album, Deal or No Deal, he hustles harder than the hardest hustler you know. He has no mainstream guest appearances on any established rappers. But he doesn't need to. His rhymes speak for themselves. Check for his new mixtape dropping soon, Kush and Orange Juice.

Jay Rock
Hailing from Watts, California, Jay Rock is the most hood. After gaining some momentum on the Omarion single,"Hoodie", Johnny McKinzie is working on his 1arner Brothers Records debut. But not just any run-of-the-mill rhyme slinger, Jay Rock is a mentor at a recreational center in his hometown. You have got to respect him. So show some love and check out his song, "All My Life In The Ghetto".

Big Sean
If you actually listened to the Mike Posner song, I mentioned in my last post, then you might already know this Detroit native. Signed to Kanye's G.O.O.D. Music imprint, big Sean oozes swag. Be it through his rhymes or his fashion sense, trust and believe he isn't going to be half stepping. He has appearances on Mr. West's upcoming effort and he is working on his third mixtape, Finally Famous Vol.3. To tide you over listen to the mixtape, UKNOWBIGSEAN.

Nipsey Hussle
He is what Game was supposed to be. Nipsey is the man that's going to save West Coast rap music. Even the Doggfather, Snoop Dogg, agreed and featured Hussle on a track from his latest album. Nipsey hussle is also an actor. He has a part in the upcoming movie, 'The Wrath of Cain'. But he wants to be known more for what comes out of your speakers, than what you see on your screen. With his mixtape series, Bullets Aint Got No Name, Nipsey Hussle is taking us back to the West Coast's golden era. Hopefully, he can bring rap back to its golden era too.

Song I'm Obsessed With

Finally, I've found a song I really like enough to post about. Music is so stagnant and generic right now. In lieu of that, I've been listening to some independent artists and underground ones. This happens to be about an underground artist.

Cooler Than Me - Mike Posner & The Brain Trust

If you've spent time on the west coast last summer, then you've probably heard this Duke University student's song. He gets a lot of love from there, but hasn't reached the east quite yet. But after listening to both of his mixtapes, 'One Foot Out The Door' and 'A Matter Of Time', that will be changing very shortly because this white guy has real talent.

'Cooler Than Me' is a song about a confident guy not being able to get a girl because she acts like she's too cool to be in his company. I know I've had that experience more than once, but this is not about me. Its about the song. He says this chick always wears designer sunglasses to hide her face, doesn't speak to him, or remember his name because she thinks her shit doesn't stink. I don't know about other guys, but that is a little attractive to me too. Even though this girl does all of this to him, you know he's not phased by it because the opening line is, "If I could write you as song to make you fall in love/ I would already have you up under my arm." As well as writing the lyrics, Posner created the beat. That is almost as infectious as the lyrics.

Check this joint out. You won't regret it. Plus, instead of getting mad at a chick for thinking she's too good for you, you already have an answer for that. She probably thinks that she's cooler than you. Show that she's not, fellas!

Check out datpiff.com for both mixtapes and the song. There's a different version on each one. Enjoy!

Lady Gaga ft. Beyonce - Telephone (Video Review)

This morning, I got a call from Candy G. and she was adamantly telling me that my blog post had to be about the Lady Gaga 'Telephone' video. I didn't understand what the fuss was about because I hadn't seen it yet. I just got finished watching and Candy G.'s demands didn't fully explain how epic the video was. Hopefully, I can do it justice.

'Telephone' picks up where 'Paparazzi' leaves off. Gaga is being hauled to a prison cell by two gargantuan female bodybuilders. They strip her naked except for pasties and stockings with high heels. Because what's a girl in Gaga's world without her heels? In the distance you hear someone say, "See, I told you she didn't have a dick." That's only the beginning. There's a prison yard stomp out and dancing in bras and panties. Then, Bey comes and bails Gaga out of jail. They drive around in the Pussy Wagon. They meet Tyrese in a diner. He plays Bey's abusive lover. They poison him and everyone else there and go on the run from the law a la Thelma and Louise.

There are some lesbian overtones, which one could miss if not paying too much attention. This video is pure Gaga quirky, stylized opulence. Bey only adds to the grandiose feel of it. I like this one better than 'Videophone' because Bey plays strange well, yet Gaga doesn't do normal at all. They both dance as if their lives depended on it. The dancing and costumes only add to the over the top nature of this piece. This gets two thumbs way way way up. Even if you don't rock with these two, there's something in here for you. If you haven't seen it, crawl from under your rock and do so. Even you, a hater, will vibe with it.

Dig In The Crates

We all love music. Some love it more than others. But most of us, only know music from our time. This puzzles me because how can we say that if we don't know the origins of the music we listen to.

One time at work, a guy told me thst he didn't listen to Biggie because Biggie is old and wack. Now, I wasn't mad because he called Biggie old and I was a child when Ready To Die came out, but because Biggie is the reason Jay-Z is most of these high schoolers favorite rapper. This guy didn't know that Biggie helped Jay get on. When Jay dropped the 'Aint No Nigga' video, there Big was chilling on the beach in the video. Once I put Ready To Die on his computer, he realized his mistake.

But isn't that the problem though? We have an opinion about music before we hear it just because of the artist, or who introduced us to it. Why don't we, individually, learn about the history of music. How many of us know who Nina Simone is? And for the few that raised their hands, how many of you know a song she sings? Exactly.

We have. A responsibility to ourselves to get a whole picture of music. Not just know about what we grew up with, but what our parents used to rock to , and what their parents once partied to. There are so many other great styles of music that most of my generation hasn't experienced. Big Band is great. Jazz is becoming more integrated with hip-hop, so we should definitely be checking that out. They say it's not where you are, its where you're at and going. Well, I say that is true, but how can you fully appreciate the journey if you don't know where you started from.

Work In Progress

This day has been kind of strange for me. I've been slacking for the past two weeks. Not just in one area of my life, but everywhere. I go to the gym, but don't work out as hard as normal. I write my blog, yet I've skipped a few days. The writing I was doing for a personal project has fallen to the waist side. And until today, I had no urge to fix the problem, even though I recognized there was one.

For some reason, I feel I've opened up to the subtle signs that God and the universe are sending me. I was jamming to a mix cd I've had for a long time and the cd started skipping, playing one line repeatedly. "We all show growth before its done." Now, I know the words to that song by heart, but that was the first time they sank in.

On top of that, I hit the barber for a cut and we wound up talking about the dubious nature of the media. This struck me because we never talk about things like that. Our conversations are always light and superficial. He told me that its time for some of our people to get in the media industry and write and tell the stories that effect us. Before I thought, I blurted out, "Well, I'm going to get on there and change that." That was the first time I became passionate in conversation about my goals and dreams.

After leaving, I was in CVS and was singing softly to a song and a random person tells me that I need to do it loudly because there some people without a voice. I know he couldn't be talking about mt singing because while it can hit notes, its just mediocre.
So I'm taking all of these things as a sign that God isn't finished with me yet. I've still got more growing to do. I have to get my Daft Punk on, do whatever I'm on this earth to do, do it harder, better, faster,stronger. I can't wait for tomorrow because its not promised. Now is the time. The message has been there. I'm just finally open to receive it. Don't trip on me, I just stumbled, but I'm getting it together.

I'll always Love Big Poppa

Canibus said it best when he said the greatest rapper of all time died on March 9th. In case you aren't aware, this is day Biggie Smalls passed on. Although I never met him, I felt we had some sort of connection. He was a rap star and he became so much more to me. Big was the older brother I went back and forth about actually wanting. He was cool and intelligent. Plus, he was a larger sized guy. He was everything I could relate to. So I always felt we were close, even if it was only in my head. But before I go off on a tangent about what he meant to me, let me explain how I found him.

As a child, I wasn't allowed to listen to rap music. My mom thought it had too much cursing and talked about sex. You know, all the gripes that every parent has had about it. My older cousin never followed anybody's rules, though. He would sneak me his walk man and there would be rap tapes. being so young, I really didn't understand what I was listening to. I was six or seven then. Years go by and I'm a high school junior. Getting dropped off at home by a friend and listening to a cd. I didn't know what rapper it was, but I, naturally, knew the lyrics. "My mother got cancer in her breasts. Don't ask me why I'm motherfuckin stressed. Things done changed." He looked at me like I was crazy. He asked how did I know that part was coming because he had only known me to listen to R&B. I told him I didn't know. He said I should go buy the Ready To Die cd "so you can discover yourself."

The next day I bought it and realized this is what my cousin had snuck me in that walk man years earlier. And I did discover myself. I became a confident hefty guy. My dark skin was no longer something that made me uncomfortable. All of this happened because Biggie said that he was black and ugly as ever, however, he stayed Coogi'd down to the socks. That made me laugh and amidst that laughter I realized I could get girls through humor and charm. It worked too. My gut no longer mattered. I was just being myself and that attracted more women than anything.

Big let me know how to make being a big guy sexy and he, also, schooled me to the game. I always knew I wasn't the type of dude to do anything illegal for money. It just isn't in me. That notion was cemented once I heard 'Warning'. The song felt paranoid and I knew I couldn't live like that. See, its cool if you learn from your own mistakes, but its better if you can learn from someone else's. And that's what I did, learned from Big's mistakes.

From the Quad Studio situation, I learned perception is everything. Just because you say you didn't do it, doesn't mean people are going to believe you. I learned how to dress watching his videos. Thank heavens my mom couldn't afford any shiny suits because I would've looked crazy. To this day, I still rock Kangols and fedoras because he wore them. Big said getting more money also brings more problems. So I decided that I wanted to live comfortably, instead of extravagantly. Basically, he taught me everything my absentee father was supposed to, but he did it with style and rhymes. Not lectures and punishments like my friends' parents did. So when I say Biggie. Is my favorite rapper, that's why. Because he was so much more than music. So much more than just the King of New York. He was the best man he knew how to be and that's all I want to be. And thirteen years after his passing, he's still teaching us some things.

"God rest his soul. Rest in peace, kid." -Canibus

Get Your Grind On

Mo'Nique won the Best Supporting Actress Oscar. Besides being elated, I was inspired. She's come a very long way from where she started from to walking up on that stage. From stand up comedy to a sitcom. From a sitcom to wack movies. From wack mocvies to rhe Oscars. Let's think about it, to go from "Heeeey Professor!" to "I'd like to thank the academy.." is a long journey. One, I'm sure, that had it peaks and valleys. Her winning tells me to grind harder. And that's what I'm going to do. You should too. Let's work until we get our respective fields' Oscars. What are you waiting for. Start now!

Gripes About The Opposite Sex

Last night, my patience was severely tested. We were having relationship talk at work and it didn't help that a female I was interested in said some of the craziest things I've ever heard. The conversation pissed me off so bad that I had to write this blog.


The female I was interested in completely turned me off when she said she shouldn't have to do anything in a relationship, except show up. When I asked her to elaborate, she said that she shouldn't have to open doors, pull out chairs, cook, drive, take out trash, or anything physical when she has a boyfriend. Obviously, she felt she could do work in bed, but that's it. Then, she went on to say something to the effect of,' if I have a man, he should pay my bills too.' Clearly, you can understand my reaction. You already know, I gave her the business.

I exploded on her. Saying that it was women like her that make it hard for good women to find good men. You sound like a gold digger who didn't get everything you wanted from your daddy and want us men to compensate for it. A gentlemen should open doors and all of that good shit for you, but because its expected, but because he likes you enough to want to do it. What kind of woman wants a man to take away all of her independence?

I went on asking why she thought having a man fully support her was the way to go. Before she could answer, I told her that she was lazy and didn't really know what real men wanted. She told me that real men wanted some one to boss around. That statement made me wonder why I was ever attracted to her. Then, I remembered her physical appearance. Pardon me, the horn dog in me came out. But I digress.

I've never heard of a man wanting a woman that couldn't bring anything to the table. For any woman who thinks like the girl from my job, here's some advice. Men want good looking and intelligent women. She can be sexy and feminine, she should also be able to be one of the guys. If you gfuys go out to eat, when the check comes, reach for your purse. He's not going to let you pay, but it shows that you're willing to if you wanted to. If he puts the key in to unlock the passenger door for you, lean your ass over and unlock his. Why? Because if you're looking for a gentleman, act like a lady.

Daniel Merriweather - Love and War

For those not familiar with this Austrailian transplant, he sang the song "Stop Me" with Mark Ronson. Also, he's sung hooks for the likes of Wale and Adele. This is his stateside debut effort.

The title of this thirteen track set is very fitting. This man is fighting to be loved, fighting to love, and fighting to get people to love each other. Set against a dusty soul/R&B backdrop, Merriweather sings from the gut on every song. Think of this album as the male answer to Amy Winehouse's Back To Black minus all of her alcoholism. Considering Mark Ronson executive produced both albums, there's no wonder why the sound is similar.

This is a cohesive blend of love, hate, and the gray area between them. On the stand out '70s jam, "Chainsaw", Daniel laments, " Giving myself to you is like giving myself to a chainsaw." The image of that is enough to tap into your emotions, yet he details the emotion deeper as the song goes on. Actually, using the term "stand out cut" doesn't do this album any justice. This is a play from start to finish type of joint.

If Robin Thicke's voice is Marvin Gaye's link to today's white America, then Daniel Merriweather's is their link to all the Philly soul singers of the '70s. *nd with this amazing set, hopefully, he will get the credit he deserves.

A Story of Desperation

I should've wrote this post last week when it happened. But given that I've had some time to reflect on it, my insight might be better.

I went to Quizno's when I was on break from work. While I'm ordering, a girl walks up to me and strikes up a conversation. She was attractive enough. For those that don't know, I'm extremely picky and that was a compliment, coming from me. So we're talking and having cool conversation, her friends come in and tell her to hurry up because they had somewhere to be. Neither one of us were trying to dead the banter, so she asks me for my number. That was sexy to me because I like a woman to take charge every now and then. I was opening my mouth and before I could speak a word, she says " Yeah, I need your number because your lips look like they could suck my clit clean off of my body." And with that, I said, " You had my number until you said some desperate shit like that."

Ladies, desperation is only sexy if I'm drunk. If I'm sober, it acts more as a repellent. Think of it as Raid, except you're not killing roaches, you're killing my interest. I mean damn! Can I at least buy you a meal before you start speculating how good my tongue game is? And what if I was against oral? I'm not, but what if? Chick would have been highly disappointed that she made herself look like a skank.

I like aggressive women, but I'd like to get to know them before they pounce on me. Let this be a lesson to all women. Because like 2Pac said, " I hate to sound sleazy, but I don't want it if it's that easy."

Sixteen and What

Ok I am not a saint, but I am not an idiot. Sixteen and Pregnant is a show about both. First off, why are you pregnant at such a young age? We live in the information age where everything is at our fingertips. That includes condoms. Then after you get pregnant, why put yourself on blast on national tv? I would think being in that situation would be hard enough without cameras in your face. So why does this show exist? To serve as visual birth control.

Once I saw an episode, it made me re-think catching a hard on. Don't get me wrong, I love sex just as much as the next nymph, but I'm not trying to have any babies or STDs in my future, so if that means no sex for the night because shorty and I don't have protection, them so be it. We can always hit the skins another time. And although I'm pro-choice, I don't believe abortion should be used as after the act birth control. Dear readers, I implore you to watch that show just so you can leaern from these people's mistakes. My advice is to grow up. Move out of your parents' house. Get your career started. Invest in a marriage, and then, THINK about having kids. I don't want to see you on that show at all. Most of all, safe sex is always the best sex! Get familiarm