You Too Loose Off The Goose

I wrote a blog about a week ago about people who smell bad needing to pay extra to ride in your whip. Well, today, I am inspired again by the same party.

I went to this party knowing I was going to get wasted. When I say "wasted", I mean totally messed the hell up. Once I got there, I realized that I only knew one person enough to trust them with my drunken self. And with that, I decided if I was going to get drunk, it was going to be a light drunk induced by beer. The same can't be said for most of the people there.

Most of the party goers were in their early to mid twenties. Meaning, they were old enough to know their limits. Needless to say, they didn't. Taking Grey Goose straight to the head like its water isn't going to get you in anything, but trouble. One dude thought was the flyest person there, so he was egging his crew to go as hard as he was. All of those guys went extremely hard. Taking shots of Patron, while drinking Goose straight out of the bottle. He was the man for an hour and a half. He had women trying to get at him and the ones was going for were very accepting of his advances. That is, until the liquor started to catch up with him.

All of the sudden, dude urgently flings open the front door and steps one foot out of the apartment and throws up all over himself and the lawn. So instantly, his sexy swag factor went from 100 to negative 3000. Those girls that were flies on his shit a few minutes ago, suddenly had no interest in him. His only sober friend was outside making sure he was good. But nobody else cared, or maybe they were too drunk to help him. So me with my sexy and intelligent self, started macking on the shorties dude had lost the interest of. I came away with a number or two, but I'm not trying to brag.

The moral of this story is if you're going to go hard with the liquor, please know your limits. You might be the man when you walk in the party, but if you don't marathon drink, you could become the laughing stock. When I say you need to marathon drink, I mean that drinking is a marathon and not a sprint. Please act accordingly. If you don't, I will be there half drunk and ready to take your shortie!